While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times.
When he would do work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised it's level of unruliness.
Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.
Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.
A family from the hills of Kentucky was visiting the big city for the first time. They stayed in a high rise hotel with a big brass elevator right off of the lobby. The father and son stared at it in amazement, wondering what it was. After staring at it in awe for a few minutes the boy looked up at his dad, "Pa, what do you reckon that there thing is?" he asked. "I don't rightly know, son." the father replied. Just then an old, frumpy woman with curlers in her hair walks up, steps on the elevator and the doors shut behind her. After about 30 seconds the doors opened again and a beautiful, young blonde wearing a mini-skirt walks out. The father leans over to his son and says, "Boy, go and git your Ma!"
